You're completely useless in the revolution.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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