he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
