Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
