I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
