I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize