Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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