Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
