Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
