# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You took a bar mat shot.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
