just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
