I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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