For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
