Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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