There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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