CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
