Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
