Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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