I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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