i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Still dying that you shit outside
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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