it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
