How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
