Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
