Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
