Do you still have your period?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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