Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
