I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
