I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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