I just pynch a tree in the face
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
