After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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