Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
