I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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