I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
