need another drink. this is the easiest way
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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