what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
