he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
