It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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