Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
