she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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