we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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