Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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