You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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