..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
