imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize