Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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