Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
