Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
