I want to walk on stilts...naked
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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