Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
