My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
