Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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