Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize