1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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