alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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