He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
