She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dick very happy bro
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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