so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
