brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
