What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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