I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
