i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
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