It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
