I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
